“A love letter to staying awake, staying human, and refusing to go quietly.” — Theresa Tova, Award-Winning Actor

You Don’t Get to Disappear Before You Die

What if the dreams you’ve been ignoring are the ones trying to wake you up?

There comes a point when the life you worked for no longer feels like home. Not because it failed, but because it no longer fits.

At some point, you feel it.

Not as a crisis.
More like a quiet knowing:

Something in you has gone… quiet.

You’re still living.
Functioning on auto-pilot.

You don’t call it disappearing.

But you know it’s there.

Praise for Midnight Rainbow

"This book doesn’t rush you—it works on you slowly, deeply.”

— Christian Mickelsen

#1 Bestselling Author

I didn’t realise how much of myself had gone quiet until I read this.”

— Barb Smith

Beautifully unguarded, deeply human—and it stays with you.”

— Ron Fisher

Award-winning Producer & Writer

What this Book Gives You

This book helps you see where you’ve started to censor yourself.

It helps you look back without flinching, forward without fear, inward without apology.

It reminds you that it is not too late.

It may stir something you thought was gone: a spark, curiosity, a piece of yourself.

It may not change your life overnight, but it can change what you’re no longer willing to ignore.

And if it does, Hamish is someone you may want to talk to about it.

About the Book

A wild, wise, and darkly humorous and profound memoir of dreams, death, reinvention, and the courage to keep becoming.

From childhood nightmares, monsters, and an acting gig in the psych ward at ten, to LSD at a Jimi Hendrix Concert, performing autopsies, spiritual seeking, and life in Auroville, India — a community devoted to human unity and inner transformation — to a late-life comeback in Indian cinema seen by millions around the world.

Midnight Rainbow is Hamish Boyd’s fierce, funny, and deeply human journey through mortality, mystery, and the courage to live again.

It moves between night-time dreams and the ones we live out during the day: the quiet patterns, choices, and moments where we either step forward… or disappear.

This is not a dream manual or guide. It is a life lived at full volume, and a call to stop disappearing from your own.

What People Are Saying About the Book

“Not a book about aging gracefully—about refusing to disappear.”

— Sameer Mehta

Chairperson, Dr. Mehta’s Hospitals

“Engaging, challenging—and it opens your eyes as it opens his.”

— Sehdev Kumar

Professor Emeritus, University of Waterloo

“You don’t read this to learn something—you read it to remember something.”

— Hugh Smiley

Hakomi Therapist

How It Began

This book began simply:

Dream
Record
Listen

For years, Hamish had been documenting his dreams without fully understanding them.

His wife and creative partner, Fif Fernandes, suggested he explore various perspectives not for answers, but for reflection. What came back wasn’t interpretation, but pattern—connections he had been living, but not yet seeing.

Seen through Jungian, Tibetan, Toltec and AI lenses, a quiet truth emerged showing where he had been disappearing from his life.

The dreams offered no solutions, but gave him clarity he could no longer ignore. The narrative of his dreams revealed a depth and purpose that he saw for the first time.

The Thread

Years ago, the night John Lennon died, he appeared in Hamish’s dream.

He said: “You should be composing music.”

Hamish didn’t listen.

Years passed.

But some things don’t go away.

They wait.

Some dreams come at night.
Some follow you for decades.

This book comes from finally listening.

The Return

There was a long stretch where parts of Hamish did not follow his passion.

Life moved. Time passed.

Then came Auroville.

Through experience, spiritual work, and life in Auroville, something in him was forced to face what had been set aside.

At 71, he returned, to the work, and passion that had been waiting.

Music, singing, writing and acting.

He was cast in a key role in Kalki 2898 AD, a major Indian film seen around the world, viewed over 70 million times.

Additional Words About Midnight Rainbow

“A book of courage, tenderness, and great love.”

— Carolyn Pogue

Author, Spiritual Companion

“Truth without bullshit or apology.”

— Mick Brady

Retired Social Worker & Guitarist

“Clarity, courage, and permission to live awake again.”

— Aram Abdallah

Business Owner & Mentor

“A fierce invitation to get real.”

— Deena Levy

Master Acting Teacher

About Hamish

Hamish Boyd is a writer, musician, and performer drawn to life’s thresholds—between waking and dreaming, body and spirit, holding on and letting go.

His work weaves story, humor, and lived experience into an unflinching exploration of mortality, meaning, and how not to go numb.

He has co-created performances, workshops, sound journeys, and retreats across cultures and continents—inviting people back into curiosity, courage, and aliveness.

His work moves between Auroville, India, a community based on human unity, and Vancouver Island, Canada.

You don’t get to disappear before you die.

But you can go a long time without noticing you already have.

This book is about seeing it, and having the courage to come back.

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